i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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