Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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