Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
