I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
