Kiss
Puke
I hate all girls vehemently.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
