ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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