You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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