My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize