My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
