big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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