Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
