Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
