he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
