I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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