Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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