don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
