I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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