I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
