You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize