What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
