And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
