I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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