Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I stole a fireplace last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
