Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
