upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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