Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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