god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
