fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
