So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
