Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
