Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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