would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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