You were right. It hurts to walk today.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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