Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize