was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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