Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
