I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
