I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
