Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
