I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
