Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
