I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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