I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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