Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
