i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
