I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
