If i come over, it means nothing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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