why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
