Got a toothbrush?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
