how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize