I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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