i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
