doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
