K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
