Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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