remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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