well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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