so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize