when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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