my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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