im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
