You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
