Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
