I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
