When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
