I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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