One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
