I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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