Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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